i'm not very good at this.

based on past experience with the current boy, i know that i don't have to worry about the fact that he hasn't called yet.

unfortunately for him (and myself), based on past experience with a million other boys, i'm neurotically obsessively checking my phone to see if somehow i've missed his call.

this is how it's obvious that i'm not mature enough for a real relationship.

if you introduce your very new boyfriend to your family because this is likely to be the only time they are here this year, should you then be offended when he neglects to introduce you to his family in the exact same weekend?

given the chance to have an entire day to myself, here's what i did:

read half a novel lying in the sunlight on my bed, clad only in a t-shirt and underwear.
fell asleep and drooled quite a large puddle, but then just flipped the pillow over and slept some more.
started cleaning in just a towel.
ate an entire jar of salsa throughout the day as my only sustenance because i'm too lazy to walk to the grocery store.
enjoyed the silence of no: roommate, family, or boyfriend.

the boy and i sleep together almost every night. i find this amazing, beautiful, and fucking frightening.

what's my motivation?

being the boss means sometimes there's no one telling me what to do. sometimes this leads to days like today where i do nothing. i have a feeling this is a bad example for my office staff. but what do they know, they don't have to put up with walking into an office and being told that every employees taxes have been done wrong and the whole company is screwed. i think i deserve a lazy day, you know, once or twice a week.

here's something all men should know:

if your new girlfriend asks how long it's been since you broke up with you last ex, don't talk about her for the next 10 minutes. she wanted a number, not a name and a history.