i'm a wierd adult. last night m. was coming over so i told my roommate i had to shave my legs then i was going to make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner.

m. says we have retarded foreplay. this is because for an hour before sex we just laid in my bed laughing and making out and making really wierd jokes. i hope he realizes that i like that part as much as i like the sex.

speaking of which. he makes me come. no other man has managed to do that. and he does it during full out intercourse. the man is amazing.

the man is also a fucking idiot. he managed to introduce me to one of his life long friends as if i were just another girl he goes to grad school with. totally ignored any sign of a relationship between us. i am clearly not a significant part of his life. ugh, why did i dump the guy who actually wanted a relationship with me for this dufus?

i think it's because i like our foreplay. and cause he makes me come.

a couple of posts earlier i wondered if i didn't really like m., but instead just liked the fact that he liked me. recent events with Other Boy have proved that yes, i really (and i mean really really really) like m. the thing is, he surprises me. i don't ever know what he's going to say. and he makes me laugh. i remember thinking once that him making me laugh didn't really matter because everything makes me laugh. which is also not true. and besides, he makes me laugh in a particular way. it's the kind of laugh that let's me disappear for a moment. and by "me" i mean the overthinking, overanalyzing obsessive neurotic that i usually am. when i'm laughing with him that is the only thing i'm doing. when i'm having sex with him, that is the only thing i'm doing. of course, even when i'm not with him he's often the only thing i think about. this thing with him is seriously so up and down it's ridiculous. this week i think i'm in love with him again.

i clearly have problems.