here's what i want to say to him:

i like you. in fact, thus far there's not even anything i dislike about you. but, i really do not know you. and i know you don't know me. so i don't want to play the pretend relationship game that happens so often.

what i want is just to spend the next couple of months getting to know you. i want to know what makes you happy, what upsets you, what annoys you. i want to know about your childhood nicknames and whether or not you want children some day. before i attempt to have a relationship with you i want to know what you want and need in a relationship. i don't want to half-blindly walk into another wall. so i want to keep seeing you a couple of times a week, and then if it feels right we talk in between and then maybe we'll start seeing each other all the time. and we'll have a relationship based on mutual admiration and affection. it'll be based on knowledge, not just lust or angst or neediness.

i want you to keep saying the nice things you say. i want to be able to say the nice things i think about you. i want to be able to be openly affectionate. i want us to be able to get mad and get over it.

i don't want to be the stupid, obsessive, neurotic, terrified crazy person i usually am in the beginnings of relationships. i want to be calm. i want to be honest.

ok, this isn't coming out clearly. i'll try again later.