i'm a mess. he's a mess. we're a perfect match, right? god, this hurts. over the weekend i wrote him a three page love letter. like an actual love letter telling him i loved him. right now he is sick and upset and so i am a mess. i didn't cry when i was mad at him, when i thought he was a shit. but now that i think he is hurt and upset i am a mess. he sent me a text asking for help. i think he is an alcoholic. i do not want to fall in love with an alcoholic. i am exactly the right type to become a sobbing doormat out of love for an alcoholic. but i think it might be too late. because everything about him makes me happy. you know, except for the drinking. i need to just get out now. i can already see the signs. but i can see what a beautiful man he really is. this is too hard.